COSMOPOLITAN STYLE: WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS AND MEN ARE FROM... WELL NO-ONE KNOWS!

Do you often find yourself struggling to communicate efficiently with the male species? Do stress, impatience and effort come to mind? Is there a noticeable 'language barrier', if you will? Well, science has cracked the code and after learning a little more about men, you will be fluent in 'Menglish' and never suffer from technical difficulties when talking to your man ever again!

1. He just doesn't see things like you do!
That dress that you and your girlfriends think is #gorg definitely is, but don't be mad at him when he doesn't know how to react to it. Most men have an underdeveloped 'observation lobe' in their brains and simply can't find the adjective to use to describe that b-e-a-u-tiful new shade of Kylie Lipkit, but that's okay! According to Robin Lakoff, professor of linguistics at the University of California, women use adjectives a lot more often than men in everyday language and this is evident in the research she and other socio-linguists have done. We're not alone ladies!

2. He will find a way to make anything a joke - yes, anything.
Whether it's an innuendo or a reference to something totally random, he will find it funny. This can cause all sorts of issues when you're watching the latest tutorial on how to fleek your eyebrows and he can't stop giggling at the word 'spoolie' (in case you didn't know - it's an eyebrow brush). Lakoff also said that us ladies can appreciate a joke from time to time; however no where near as much as the opposite gender. Let's just say we are more mature...

3. He does have emotions (believe it or not).
Us girlies are known to to get emotional from time to time but we aren't the only ones. Women tend to display their emotions through their language choices and men tend not to do so; but this is no way means that they don't have them. We couple our exclamation of emotions with words like 'so', 'very' and 'really' to emphasise our gratitude or disgust or whatever other emotion it is we are conveying. These little phrases haven't yet snuck into the 'Official Dictionary of Menglish' just yet unless used in relation to food. 'I am reeeeally hungry!', 'I'm sooooo hungry', 'I am very very very hungry'- like, seriously, WTF? The cause for this is unknown; it could be because guys just want to look masculine in front of their bros, or maybe they don't feel the need to emphasise their feelings. But rest assured, he isn't a robot.

So now you are fluent in 'Menglish', go and flaunt your skills! 

(GENDER BASED) OPINION ARTICLES W/ ANALYSIS

Daily Mail:
*Declarative generalisations - 'men can only do one thing at a time', 'why he can't find things'. Due to these statements being declared it implies to the audience that the Daily Mail know what they are talking about and that their opinions are sacred.
*Exclusivity - 'sex: the REAL differences'. This implies that the Daily Mail are the only ones offering the truth about sex and that any other publication you read on the topic isn't telling the truth or they don't know the secret that the Daily Mail do.
*Adverts stereotypically tailored to females - 'TOWIE star showcases her taut tummy [...] skimpy and suntanned', 'my biggest regret is being fat', 'Kelly Rowland showcases her toned legs in tiny denim shorts'. Articles all revolve around beauty standards and celeb couples.

Cosmopolitan:
*Use of hashtags and abbreviations - aiming to appeal to a younger audience or an online demographic (seeing as the article is online.)
*Share to Facebook/Twitter links - also aiming for a younger audience and by sharing trying to reach more people or spark up conversation on social media.
*Use of 'we' - pronoun is used to make the Cosmo writers appear as a team in conversation. Also to make it sound like the opinion they are stating is popular with a wide variety of people as 'we' is plural rather than 'I'.
*Pink house colours and font - stereotypical and connotes femininity
*Adjective choice - 'gorgeous', 'most popular' (superlative), 'cool-girl'. Empty adjectives or hyperbolic.

The Guardian:
*Intertextuality - references to other texts and writers integrated throughout. Suggested wider reading to create a clear idea to reader what point they are making or to give readers other things to look at if it interests them.
*Advertised articles - 'Most popular' regarding politics and celebrities. Not gender specific or related to the topic of the article they appear adjacent to.
*Statistics - increases formality and creates the impression that the publication is well-informed on the topic.
*Rhetorical questions - used to engage their reader in thought reading the topic by asking important key questions and perhaps evoking a discussion on social media (share buttons feature at the top of the page).

Huffington Post:
*Statistics - also features references to meta-analyses done by many social scientists to draw conclusions on the differences in language use between the genders.
*Intertextuality - reference to the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' and features anecdotes surrounding that.
*Ending in a question - evokes debate and also increases the likelihood for sharing online as the share buttons feature directly below. 
*Imperative - 'Follow [...] on Twitter', 'Go on a popular news site and [...]'. Makes reading an active experience for the reader.

The Independent:
*Meta-analysis 
*Rhetorical questions or questions to start conversation - title is a question which implies that the article will answer said question and will draw in the attention of the reader if they want to know the answer.
*Time frames - 'earlier this month', 'this week'. Gives the impression that this article is new and fresh and is one of the few you will find on this topic as it is recent.

GRICE'S MAXIMS PARAGRAPH PRACTICE

In text A, the maxim of relevance is flouted when Jack says: "check on one no starters Al (.) one risotto (.) one chicken". This is an example of relevance being flouted as it is unclear what Jack is talking about, however it is context dependant. For example if Jack said that to Al in a different setting, like on a golf course, Al would be confused as it isn't relevant to that setting. It could also be argued that since this group is an example of a discourse community these maxims don't apply. Discourse communities have a specific set of terms and lexis they use for efficiency. They also have a shared goal, which in this case it to work quickly but still provide good food and service to their customers (hence short hand speech being utilised).

STOP WRITING HIM/HER AND LETS INVENT A GENDER-NEUTRAL SINGULAR PRONOUN

Although it has been in high demand for almost 150 years, we are still struggling to coin a gender-neutral singular pronoun. Many have tried yet failed, with attempts from Napoleon Bonaparte and the American literary critic Richard Grant White, which sadly resulted in no change. It seems as though it just can't be done. With feminism becoming an increasingly popular topic of conversation, the need for equality for all genders and gender-fluid/non-binary people is more than ever before. 

In recent months people have been stating their preferred pronouns in their social media biographies; but wouldn't it be easier if labeling wasn't necessary and people just referred to each other by a neutral pronoun? (unless told otherwise). To those people who don't conform to a set gender, pronouns are a big deal - and so they should be! A few people argue that pronouns aren't important and shouldn't have such a big deal made of them but imagine the frustration you would feel if you were constantly referred to as he/him if you were a cisgender female? Not fun; and this only one reason why pronouns are important. Non-binary people don't have it easy either as language is very black or white, you are either male or female and that's the end of it. If language were a person they'd corner you in a room and force you to give up a part of who you are just for convenience. Although within the LGBTQ community there is a plethora of terms by which people can identify themselves, this hasn't yet been integrated into today's wider society. 

Gender identity also plays an important role in spoken and written language. There are many stereotypes revolving around how females speak in comparison to males and theories in regard to this. Deborah Tannen's difference theory contains the idea that males and females use language with different intentions. According to Tannen, men use language to gain status, give advice and orders. Whereas women tend to compromise more, lend support to others through their language choices and strengthen relationships. Although this is true for a lot of characters in books, modern day men and women don't conform to every generalisation made about them in this theory and neither do non-binary people. Due to this shift in characteristics, language needs to catch up and perhaps alter these stereotypes. Although they may be abundant in some contexts, there are many TV shows, books and films that disprove 'typical' behaviour. 

Literature, novels and plays all use language to present characters to an audience but since it's the 21st century not every character is cisgender and this is hard to portray to an audience due to the lack of pronouns. Characters tend to conform to gender stereotypes to make it clear to the audience that they are 'typical' men or women, however novels containing non-conformist protagonists are very complex to write due to the constant repetition of names and ambiguity caused by the frequent use of they/them, him\her and he\she. Sphinx is a love story written by French author Anne Garréta but not once in the novel is a gender marker used to refer to either of the main characters. While this is the unique selling point of the narrative, other writers have said it's a monotonous task to find other ways of saying 'him/her' throughout an short story or 300 page book. Say we had a gender-neutral pronoun, it would change writing and make literature a lot easier to follow. Texts featuring androgynous robot-like characters won't be broken up by a superfluous number of forward slashes or the incorrect use of 'they/them' as a replacement for the pronoun we all desire. Isn't that the dream?